Man, i was really hoping he had changed, not for my sake, but for the women he will meet and pursue. It's all my fault anyway. I sent him the message, only because he was in my dream last night. It was such a vivid dream it scared me. Thankfully it was that, just a dream. For real though... he ends things with us through an email and then 9 months later apologizes with a "Hey I really need to apologize to you about how bad I treated you and things...you probably think I'm nuts"  Seriously?? Then ends the convo with "well i've got to go, glad we got to chat for a few" Wow. Seriously? I really thought he wouldve had the courtesy to call and apologize, but again, he really knows how to treat a woman--who cares if we're not interested in each other anymore, I'm his sister in Christ and I feel like he should've called. It's so funny that tonight at bible study we were talking about this and I was saying I don't know what I've learned from the situation...but maybe one thing I learned was to make sure you communicate your feelings throughout the entire relationship, and NOT over email or instant messenger. I have to laugh at this because 1) it's either that or cry and  2) I think God is a comedian. Not that I dont trust his plans because I know this is all part of his plans, but sometimes i would just like to know even a small portion of what those plans consist of. I was doing somewhat well for awhile, and lately that dumb guy's been on my mind and i dont know why. It wasn't negative feelings exactly but I kinda hated it. But now I really will hate it because now I've got anger toward him. I do wonder though why God puts us through situations like this. A friend was telling me tonight about an article she read calling "Dating Jesus" or something like that. And in the article, I'll try to find it and post a link, she was saying that it talked about when we are interested in someone we pay a lot of attention to them, and we ask them questions, and tell me about ourselves, and just really invest a lot of our time in the relationship. This is how we should be with Christ. She was telling me that they said to make a date night, and certain times of the day to be with him, write him love letters, and do things you really enjoy-because doing that is glorifying Him.  I thought it was a really good thought process and I think the  more we earnestly seek Him and His glory the feeling of emptiness will leave us.  "...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.." Romans 8:28 AND 

1 Peter 4:11--- "If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."


and Amen

So, today classes started and guess who is STILL not registered?? Thanks a lot University of Ridiculousness. Other friends from the class told me something is already due tonight, ha, guess who won't be doing that? These are the times I get really stressed and anxious. There's another situation kind of work related that happened today that I know I'm reading too much into, but has me worried I did something wrong. I thinking, and hoping, that it will 'unworry' me by later tonight. I hate the way i've been feelin the past few days. I almost left early from church last night because i was so irritated. I dont even know why. I think school has a big part to play in that. Maybe the medicine too.

Mon-wed were really good days. Today was very draining. The kids were being so defiant today and i hate when we have to be tough on them. They're normally pretty good and only need a little redirection. I felt like today thats all we were doing. Maybe it's because of the new student we had, I'm not sure. I hope tomorrow will be better.